The Big Picture

Warning... this is long.  :-)

As women, we have a lot on our plates.  We wear lots of hats.  We run in 10 different directions at once.  I'm sure there are several sayings I'm forgetting to describe how women operate.  But what is usually at the center of those plates, the head under the hats, the starting point of the 10 directions?  "Me." 

Recently, I've been asking the Lord to help me be more aware of the big picture of life.  So often, we get caught up in "MY" world.  We forget that other people are living out whole lives.  That we live on an entire earth of people.  That we are but a speck in a vast universe.  We focus in on what is happening to ME and how what is happening "out there" will affect ME or what I think about it.  Our God is sovereign, and the way He has orchestrated our lives as relational human beings causes each of our lives to affect many more lives than just our own.  Someone (who affected my life a great deal) once said to me in what I thought was a passing moment of people watching, "So many people, so many stories."  And yet it still haunts me in a good way to this day.  What we do and say has so much impact, even on people we will never meet and never know what their life situation is.  On top of that, God orchestrates our every move according to the grand design He has for this world.  I think it is so important to remember these thoughts in light of how we are to live -- in a way that brings glory to Christ.  I wanted to share three examples of this to help us all ponder just how far reaching our actions are.

1) As I was driving to church last Sunday, the woman in front of me kept drifting into the lane beside her.  In an effort to stay safe, I quickly passed her.  I glanced over in her direction as I passed (curious to see why she was drifting), and I saw that she had her cell phone between cheek/shoulder, her right hand messing with her GPS on the dash, and the other hand on the steering wheel while not even looking at the road in front of her.  Did I mention we were on 95...not exactly a mediocre road.  This woman, in her carelessness, could have ended lives that day because she was so caught up in her world and not thinking of the big picture -- of the many other cars around her full of people.  She could have also ended her own life, leaving her loved ones in grief.  "Obedience [to rules] protects," I always tell my boys.  It protects us and others.  Our actions always affect others.

2) I never take my kids on a walk before dinner.  But yesterday, I wanted (had) to get out of the house.  I put dinner in the oven, made the protesting children turn off Dora, and kicked us all out into the beautiful weather.  I normally wouldn't put up with fussing -- fine, if you don't wanna go outside, suits me.  Your loss!  But yesterday, I pushed it.  I MADE us go out.  And now I know why.  As we rounded a corner of our street, I noticed a little boy in the middle of the road, probably a young 1 year old (definitely younger than Eden).  Barefoot and only in an unsnapped onesie.  Just wandering.  I looked around for adults or even a home with an open door that maybe someone was looking out of.  Nothing.  I was bewildered.  Do I go pick up the child?  Heavens, what if someone (due to our society) thought I was going to take him away?  I didn't want to get in trouble.  But I couldn't just leave him in the street -- I'm a mom, and I know people generally speed down our neighborhood road.  And we were on a blind curve.  To my shame, I actually took two steps down the sidewalk, I think because I stupidly decided someone must be coming to get him soon.  Then, praise God, reality came back to me a second later.  I realized it didn’t matter if someone thought I was taking a child that was not mine or if a parent was irritated I touched their child.  I could NOT leave that boy in the road.  As I walked quickly into the road to get him, a big black truck was rounding the corner.  By the time I had the boy to the sidewalk, a woman was coming out of a house down a ways – she had no idea her son had wandered outside.  (I don’t judge her at all considering how adept and curious my own daughter can be even when I am watchful…)  Though she didn’t even thank me or talk to me, only asking her son what he was doing outside (?), I am thankful that God put it in me to take a walk at an abnormal time of day…and that I followed through with that desire.  No one will ever know if that boy would have been hit by that truck because clearly that was not in God’s plan.  And this little incident gives us a clear example of how God uses our lives, choices, and actions (whether good or bad) to affect more than just ourselves.  His timing is always perfect, and we should trust that.

3) This third example is a journal entry by a woman I have never met, Emily Drager, who just lost her husband 2 weeks ago.  Her story has impacted so many people as it has shown forth how the hope and grace of Christ can carry one through tremendous difficulty.  From this, take away the thought that we should never NOT show compassion to others because we have no idea what their life holds at that moment.  You will affect them for good or for bad based upon what you do or say.  There is no neutral.

“Compassion”

Yesterday I went to the the social security office to apply for survivor benefits for Erika and me. It was completely horrendous. Waiting room filled with vulgar people who acted like the world owed them a favor who made their disgust with me known when I was called in (for my appointment which was made in advance) before the walk-ins. With tears stinging my eyes, I went back to meet with the woman who never told me her name. Never really looked at me - only at all the birth, marriage, and death certificates I brought in a folder. She knew all she needed to know from those certificates, I guess. Oh and a few questions. And under penalty of perjury, I truthfully and dutifully answered those questions. Among them were "was your son born during the time of your marriage?"
"yes, but she's my daughter."
"did you and your child live with the deceased at the time of death?"
My child? The deceased? Wow, this is so clinical. "yes, we did."
"have you ever been convicted of a felony?"
"no"
"have any warrants out for your arrest?"
"no"
There were others I can no longer recall. Then she made copies of my documents and sent me on my way. Totally devoid of any human sympathy or emotion. Oh but wait, I needed to review the documents first and agree that they were correct and true, to the best of my knowledge. I tried to concentrate but had a great deal of difficulty. One sentence kept blaring off the page at me: MARRIAGE ENDED BY DEATH. My marriage is over? I'm unmarried? And ok, do you have to put it in all caps???

I rode the elevator down with some unsavory people - the very ones who rudely discussed me and my being called back before they were. Then I ran to my car since I knew my parking meter had expired. I thought, "If Chris had been here, he would have overestimated the time spent in the office, and we would still have plenty of time left on the meter... But if he was here, I would not be downtown today." I was spared a parking ticket. A mercy. But I balled anyway.

Then there was another mercy. Of the coffee sort. But actually, more of the human sympathy sort - the kind I so desperately needed. I stopped in to my favorite Caribou location - inside Byerly's in St. Paul. As Nick (who did tell me his name) apologized for some minor thing, I blurted out, "are you kidding? I was just at the social security office - this is like heaven to me." Then came the question that I should have expected, "what brought you there?" Again I blurted, "my husband died 2 weeks ago." What a way to bring the mood down... A soft look of compassion came over his face. He finished my coffee and informed me that it was on him today. Again tears. These ones felt different though - they were not hot and lonely. Yes, compassion feels very different.