Keeping Your Home

ENCOURAGEMENT:  From the Seasoned Author...

This post was inspired by another blog and a short conversation on Facebook by some young wives/mothers.  I have only read this post, so I can't say anything else about this particular blog.  This lady has a passion for cleaning, and that is great...maybe she could come to my house.  She could have a fit for herself!  :)  One thing we need to remember is the importance of doing what is right for our family rather than going by the standards or ideals of others.  Is a clean house important?  Yes.  Is a spotless house important?  ...that depends.  I am not a great housekeeper.  I had a friend once tell me that my house was "relaxed."  I was embarrassed that this particular person thought that about my house.  Once I thought about it though, I realized that we are just different.  And that is okay.  Her house looks like it could be in a magazine.  It is well decorated and very neat.  My house, well, as I look around right now, there is a stack of mail, a binder and several books stacked/strewn over the surface of the coffee table, a bottle of medication and a piece of mail on the mantle, my purse and a bag from Kmart on the fireplace insert.... you get the idea.  Oh yeah, there is dust you can see on the entertainment center.  She's right.  It is relaxed.  I'm okay with that.  Do I dust?  Do I mop the floors?  Yes.  I even occasionally wipe down door jambs and switch plates (not often and not on a schedule, like spring time or fall).  To me, here is what's important... ask your husband, if you are married, what his comfort level is when it comes to the cleanliness/tidiness of the house.  What makes him comfortable is very important.  He needs to be able to come home and relax and be comfortable.  Once you've asked him what his comfort level is, weigh the importance of how clean the house is against being the mom your children need (if you have kids).  I know there have been times in my life where I was so fixated on how the house looked that I was screeching at my children if one thing was out of place....having a few papers on the coffee table is not important compared to being a good example of love, patience, gentleness and kindness to my children.

I just want to encourage you to think about what level of cleanliness/tidiness is right for your family and your family situation.  When you see lists like the one on that particular blog, don't beat yourself up if you don't live up to that persons standard of cleanliness or spring cleaning.  Don't compare yourself with others, either by putting yourself down or by looking down at others.  Just take care of your home and family for the glory of God and you will be considered His faithful servant.

TESTIMONIAL:  From the Younger Author...

I am in the midst of what my mother is talking about.  It seems as though each added member to my family is an instrument the Lord uses to break me of perfectionism, from my Hubz all the way to my youngest child.  There was a time when I would have decorated my home in pristine modern style, everything in its place and streamlined.  Cleaning done on a weekly basis, each day having its own set of chores.  Well, finances never allowed us newlyweds to "style" our apartment.  And moves and kids have certainly flipped my love of modern style on its head.  Practicality and comfort now win, people.  :-)  And the keeping of my home? ...

There was a phase I went through when I fought as hard as I could against losing "control" of the cleanliness of my home.  Obtaining a Home Ec degree only fanned the flames.  WHAT?  I didn't clean the toilets and it's been over a week, as in 8 days?  The tub hasn't been cleaned in a week and a half?  The world is coming to an end -- where is our schedule, our sanity??  Ridiculous, right?  I know that now.  I remember while going through that battle of letting the control (freak) go that one of my dear friends told me they didn't clean the bathrooms weekly.  I was in shock.  I thought for sure that family must be "perfect" in their house keeping.  But the problem was my own perspective.  That family was just as healthy as my own -- whether the toilets were cleaned weekly or bi-weekly, tubs cleaned weekly or once a month.  It truly was eye opening and put me on the path to freedom from perfectionism.  I purposefully experimented with allowing myself to stretch the time between cleanings.  A slow start, but a good one.  (Disclaimer: This is one of those happy medium things...you can't let it go for TOO long or you risk disease and bad stewardship of what God has given!)  I've also worked on becoming ok with others entering my home without everything perfectly in place and all clutter hidden away.  It really is not worth it to go crazy straightening if it's going to stress you, your kids, or your hubby out.  People know you live in your house... and some people are even intimidated by perfect-looking homes which means your guests won't feel comfortable.  If you have a perfectionist-control freak streak, you are your own worst enemy when it comes to how your family and guests feel in your home.  It means you are at risk of choosing to sacrifice relationships on the altar of sterile style.  Be careful.

My mom is right.   Having a home that is comfortable for your hubby and being the mom your kids need is far, FAR more important than the physical upkeep of your home.  And trust me, I am STILL working on this.  Perfectionism and love-of-routine is very hard to let go of if it's in your blood.  I still go through times of struggle, and even occasionally shed tears over the lack of routine when life just will not seem to slow down long enough for me to be in control and at least have a near-perfect home.  (Have you noticed a couple thematic elements in this post?  They are both antagonists!)  And there are times in life when life must be busy, like say for a few months back to back...as in what's been happening for my family this year.  That's okay!  Life will reset, whether back to the old normal or you'll just discover a new normal.  There can be no constant in housekeeping.  Exhibit A: clean toilet one minute, used the next.  Exhibit B: all laundry completed, only to find clothes in hampers at bedtime.  The only constant you need for whatever "normal" you find yourself in is a fixed gaze on God's will and glory.  Keep your home for HIS glory, not your own.

As proof that I have come a VERY long way, I can testify that 2 of the four toilets in our home have lovely pink rings in them, and I honestly can not remember the last time I cleaned them.  Or the tubs.  And you should SEE the dust, especially considering all the sanding/painting that's been going on.  And the laundry?  Good thing it has its own room.  ::chants to self "It's ok.  It's ok.  It'll get clean sometime..."