Learning to Let Go

Sometimes, as the managers of your home, the Lord throws you a curve ball.  Sometimes you see it coming, and sometimes you don't.  Sometimes you think you know how certain things are going to work out..... then they don't.  For me, this started on November 1, 2011.

We had taken my Belle (my youngest daughter) to college in August and had gotten into a good routine.  The house stayed nice and neat.  Life was good.  Then I had surgery on my ankle, November 1.  It went well with no problems, no complications.  I knew I would be on crutches and knew I would be non-weight bearing for a while.  That is what I knew in my head, but I sometimes wonder if I truly comprehended it.  After surgery, I was on crutches and non-weight bearing for three weeks.  Then I was put in a walking cast for three and a half weeks.  After that, a walking boot/air cast for a couple weeks. Let me tell you -- not much gets done or can be done in those conditions.  The first week wasn't bad.  I had my mom here to help.  From the second week on, the Lord had some lessons for me to learn.

Learning to Let Go, Lesson 1:  Let go of your pride, and let your husband and others serve you.  Sounds kind of funny to say it out loud (or type, as the case may be). This was so hard for me.  In our culture we so often hear women bad mouth men because they don't meet the needs of women.  Women long for men to serve them and meet their every need.  Well, here I was with My Honey wanting to serve me and take care of my needs.... real needs, like food for the day since I was home alone all day.  Like helping me bathe, dress, and making sure I had clothes to wear. He would make sure I had all the medicine I needed for the day before he left for work. I was so prideful in my heart.  I hope I came across as grateful to him; but in my heart, it was hard to have him serve me.  It was hard to ask him to get me this or that or to do this or that for me.  It was hard to have him doing "my jobs."  Which leads to learning to...

Learning to Let Go, Lesson 2:  I do my home responsibilities in a particular way.  Guess what!  My dear, sweet husband did not do "my" home responsibilities my way.  He cleaned the kitchen, but a clean kitchen to him wasn't what I do or prefer.  He did the laundry, but he didn't do it my way.... no clothes hung to dry?  Are you kidding me??  The house wasn't nice and neat the way it was before surgery. Nothing dusted, nothing vacuumed.  It was driving me crazy.  Then God.  :)  By His grace, He began to show me that even though My Honey didn't do things the way I would do (or even do the things I do period), the things that needed to be done were getting done.  God also showed me that my way isn't the only way.  He helped me see the depths of the pride in my heart to think my way was the only or the best way.  Slowly, I began to see the pride and repent of it.  I began to really be grateful for My Honey's sweet service to me.  As I have gotten further away from surgery and am becoming more mobile, I have learned that it is his joy to serve me.  I was able to tell him last night how treasured I feel because he still holds tightly to my arm or hand as I walk down a set of stairs or an incline wherever we may be walking (those are the hardest spots for me right now).  I am not perfect in this yet.  I still struggle with letting My Honey do things; but I am learning, by God's grace, to stop and remind myself it is his joy to serve me.  Just as Christ served His Bride.